


Dee Little Snake

by RoseyWinter



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety, Blood and Injury, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Bonding, Family Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Stress Relief, agere, deaging
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-25
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:34:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27191140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoseyWinter/pseuds/RoseyWinter
Summary: Janus uses age regression as a way to destress but has little control over it whenever he grows upset. Trying to keep a secret like that can be hard when you're only four years old, and thus family bonding ensues in a way nobody expected, least of all Deceit.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders, Deceit | Janus Sanders & Logic | Logan Sanders, Deceit | Janus Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders, Deceit | Janus Sanders & Thomas Sanders, Familial DRLAMP
Comments: 54
Kudos: 201





	1. A Little Upset

Patton smiled encouragingly as Janus took a seat at the table, turning back around quickly to poke at the pancakes intent on not burning them this time. He took his hat off slowly, wanting to be respectful, and fidgeted with the thermos he had brought from the other kitchen. It was a translucent pale yellow with little snakes with bowties patterned all over the surface of the plastic. Virgil and Remus had worked on it together some years ago as a gift for Christmas and dispite their now rocky relationship he was hoping that seeing the old gift would make Virgil...tolerate him? Maybe start a conversation? Sighing he got up to look for a drink from the fridge just as Roman walked into the kitchen.

He and Janus froze as they caught sight of each other and the air immediately turned tense. He saw Patton's shoulders rise slightly and guiltily looked away, offering Roman a hesitant nod while he unscrewed the thermos and set it on the table as he continued towards the fridge. He didn't expect Roman to not be upset with him; he understood completely that he had taken it too far but then again so had Roman. He knew the creative side had laughed at Virgil's name as well and that had honestly made it even harder for him to even consider making himself that vulnerable, but it had been the only thing he had known to do to establish some level of trust between him and the others. Plus, he glanced back over to Patton, it was worth it for pancakes.

He turned around holding a jug of milk that was thankfully not expired just as Roman brushed past him, purposefully bumping his hip against the table as he did. The thermos wobbled and Janus was not nearly quick enough this early in the morning to prevent it from falling. Time felt like it slowed as it smashed onto the ground and a piece from the bottom broke off from the spidering cracks. Distantly he heard Patton gasp and plates clanking together as Roman hummed a simple tune but for all the distractions he couldn't bring himself to look up yet. He slowly leaned down to pick up the peices, tearing up as he realized he wouldn't be able to fix it like how it was before. His powers didn't fix things, they disguised things. Virgil and Remus had worked hard on making this together and now...

"How childish can you be?" He growled out, effectively cutting off the semi-cheerful humming.

Roman scoffed, not sparing him a glance as he set the table - with only four plates he noticed - and crossed the floor again to get glasses. "It's only a cup, just conjure a new one."

Janus stood up angrily and clutched the ruined peices to his chest. "I can't conjure things like that and you know it! I don't even have the capabilities to fix this and you think nothing of ruining the one thing I brought up with me? Your immaturity is-"

"Is what?" Roman whirled around. "As bad as Remus'? Worse? You think just because you're out here with us that means everything is somehow fine?!"

"Roman." Patton was looking at the creative side with a mix of concern and...anger? The pan was thankfully empty as it seemed to be forgotten for the time being.

Hearing the warning in his voice, Roman deflated a bit before turning away. "Whatever."

Patton shot Roman a hard look before looking over at the man still clutching the broken thermos to his chest. "Janus-"

He quickly turned away from Patton's gentle tone, sinking down into his room without a second glance.

Tears threatened to spill over as he tried in vain to blink them back, cursing as he collapsed in his bed and pulled the covers over himself completely. Roman was right, this was completely childish. Crying over something as small as a broken cup. He curled around it protectively even as the jagged edge cut into his palm. But Virgil and Remus had worked so hard on this. Virgil keeping Remus' more suggestive designs off of the gift and Remus reigning in his creativity enough to make something they knew Janus would actually like. Even if they had put the snakes on it as a joke he still loved it, they even managed to get it his favorite shade of yellow.

But now it was broken. The one thing he had from before their unit became tense, when they had been like a little family of their own. Now he couldn't use it and so he had no reason to bring it out again, which meant Virgil would never see it and that meant there would be no conversation starter other than 'what are you doing here?'; no neutral ice breaker to start them thinking about how things used to be and to start them talking about how things could be again. It would just be him and his unwanted presence and stupid dishwashing yellow gloves and cape he wore because he couldn't have his blanket weight around his shoulders and hat to hide his curly hair that none of the others had so he didn't understand why he did and...and...

In his frazzled thoughts he barely noticed the bed becoming larger around him, the hill of blankets becoming a small mountain while he curled further into himself. He only noticed his drastically reduced size when he cracked his eyes open and realized just how difficult it was to hold the thermos when his hands were so much smaller than they had been.

A sob escaped his throat as he realized what had happened, the stress of the situation bearing down on a mind that was ill equipped to deal with it. Not only did everyone hate him for trying to help in the only way he knew how to get their attention but now he was small and his hand hurt where the broken plastic still dug into his palm and he couldn't stop crying. He wanted comfort but there was no one outside his room that would be willing to give it to him, especially since no one knew this happened when he got upset enough. No one except...

He cried harder, clutching the cup closer to him and burying his face onto the suffocating blankets further to try and drown out the sound, resigned to being trapped in his room for the foreseeable future.

\------

Virgil stepped into the warm kitchen carefully, having heard yelling just an hour earlier and wanting to be sure the air was relatively clear before following the smell of pancakes. Patton was still at the table picking at his stack with an uncharacteristic frown on his face, Logan sat across from him with his usual coffee and phone while Roman stabbed angrily at his plate as if it had personally attacked him. Debating whether or not to stay the rumbling in his stomach made the decision for him, making him sigh with hunched shoulders before fully revealing himself to grab the stack set aside for him.

"Morning kiddo." Patton mumbled, the usual cheerfulness gone from his voice.

Raising an eyebrow and looking at each of them in turn he grabbed the syrup to drown the unsuspecting pancakes in front of him. "Morning, Patton. What's uh....is everything good?"

His eyebrow raised higher as Roman huffed loudly. "I broke a cup by accident and hurt Deciet's feelings and now he won't come out of his room even though I already tried apologizing through the door."

"Janus. And Roman, you really upset him-"

"It was just a cup, Patton!"

"To you!" Patton raised his voice slightly, Dad Mode fully activated as he tried to drive his point home. "You don't know what kind of significance that might have held for him and if him crying was any indication it must have been important! He has every right not to forgive you right away-"

"He was crying?" Virgil cut in, worry curling in his gut despite the tension that had been present between them since Janus revealed his name.

Roman's cheeks burned with what Virgil hoped was shame as he quickly left the room, Patton turning back to his plate with a sigh. "Yes, he was. He was very upset and still is if his door being locked is anything to go by."

Virgil nodded, standing up with his pancakes to leave. "Thanks for the breakfast, I think I'll eat in my room."

He didn't hear Pattons response as he sunk out.

\-----

Trying to pick a lock while balancing pancakes on your lap was not as easy as it sounded, but Virgil was determined to get in the room. Anxiety burned through his veins as the lock finally clicked, hoping his worry was unwarranted.

Opening the door and looking immediately towards the tiny lump on the bed confirmed his worries. He closed and locked the door behind him before making his way quickly to the bed, setting the plate on the nightstand and crouching down carefully.

"Janus?" He said softly, wincing as the quiet sobbed cut off abruptly as the shaking stilled underneath the blankets. Virgil hadn't seen the other side like this in a long time, not since he left to join the "light sides" years ago. He still remembered to be gentle however as he tugged on the covers, pulling them down slowly when he didn't hear any protest.

"Dee?"

A red faced four year old curled up further into himself, tears still running down his face and snot smearing grossly across his cheek. His hat was gone allowing for tangled curls to splay across the pillow. Virgil gave him a hesitant smile as he held out a hand.

"I heard a little about what happened, do you wanna talk about it?"

The toddler hiccupped loudly and buried his face into the pillow, mumbling something that he couldn't catch.

"I can't hear you if you hide your face." Deciding to risk it he laid a careful hand on the others shaking shoulder, rubbing it softly when he wasn't pushed away. As he lowered his gaze to try and see what the other was holding he caught sight of something red staining the bedsheets underneath his hands.

His heart leapt in his throat. "Did you hurt yourself?"

Swallowing when all he recieved as an answer was another mumble he carefully slipped his other arm underneath the child, guiding him upright to try and find what was wrong. Janus, well Dee he supposed since at the moment he was little, was clutching what looked like a thermos to his heaving chest, sobs still suppressed as he gazed at Virgil fearfully. His heart broke at the expression, feeling horrible for making the child feel as if he had stopped caring. Looking closer he recognized the thermos; it was one he and Remus had made for him for Christmas years ago and suddenly everything clicked into place. Dee had most likely brought this to breakfast as a sort of peace offering and Roman had ruined what Dee had probably considered his only way of starting a conversation with Virgil. And he had been in here for an hour, upset and crying and afraid to seek help because he didn't think he could.

Virgil felt tears welling in his own eyes as he brushed them from Dee's, holding out his other hand in offering.

"I'm sorry if you felt like you couldn't come to me. Will you let me help you?"

Dee sniffed and looked down, slowly unclenching his fingers and leaning closer which Virgil took as consent. He slowly stood up and leaned down, scooping him up quickly and heading for the door. Unlocking and opening it with practiced ease he glanced out to make sure no one was around before heading quickly to the bathroom, making sure to lock the door behind him.

Plunking Dee down on the sink he gently took the thermos from his hands, glancing up quickly as he winced. The poor kid must have been gripping it for the entire hour he had been curled up, cramping his hands in the process. He smiled with sympathy and took the tiny hands in his own, flipping them while massaging slowly as he inspected the cut he assumed had come from the broken plastic. It had cut through the glove and pierced his palm though thankfully it didn't look very deep. Retrieving the first aid kit from under the sink he slipped off both gloves and set them aside, grabbing out antiseptic wipes and bandaids.

"This will sting a little." He warned before gently wiping up all the blood away from the wound, grimacing as the cleaning revealed several small cuts and punctures rather than one singular cut he had assumed to be there. Once it was clean he grabbed a roll of gauze instead, wrapping the hand securely and taping up the loose end. Smiling at his work he put everything away and stood back up.

"Better?" He asked.

The toddler pouted slightly. "Still hurts."

Taking the hand again Virgil threw away all of his scraped up dignity and brought the palm to his lips, blowing an extremely gentle raspberry and grinning as Dee snatched his hand away giggling. Humming soothingly Virgil wet a washcloth and brought it to his face, wiping up the accumulated snot and tears thoroughly before throwing it aside.

Dee looked back down and hesitated for a second before tears gathered in his eyes again and he thrusted out his arms, making frantic grabby hands at the older side.

"Hey, hey it's okay." Virgil quickly scooped him back up and bounced slightly, continuing to croon as he made his way back to the bedroom while his shoulder became more and more wet. "I got you, Dee, I promise."

He sat on the bed and continued to rock the small side while rubbing his heaving back to try and calm him down. "Would talking about it help?"

He began to panic as Dee only sobbed harder, cursing himself for becoming so bad at this.

"I was mean t-to Ro-Roman so he- *hic* he broke my fav- my favorite cup and I- I can't fix *hic* I can't fix it and it's the o-only th-thing I have left from when- from when you liked me and now it8s gone!"

Virgil's arms tightened around Dee as he wailed, regret stabbing through his stomach painfully. "Dee, I still like you-"

"No you don't! You n-never want me ar-around since you *hic* since you left!"

"Dee, sweetheart, I promise I still like you. Things are just...complicated right now because everything's still trying to smooth out." Virgil pulled him away slightly so he could look at him properly, reaching forward to wipe at his cheeks. "This is something we need to discuss more when you're big again, but for right now, I'm not lying Dee. I still love and care about you very much. What Roman did was wrong no matter the circumstances and you are completely within your right to be upset."

Dee calmed slightly, still looking unsure but thankfully he had stopped crying. Virgil smiled and gently booped his nose earning a small giggle in response.

"If you want, I can ask Remus about fixing your cup for you and maybe making it so it won't break?" Dee nodded frantically, twisting his fingers in his shirt as his tears stopped completely.

"Then that's what we'll do, but later okay? For right now I brought you some pancakes." He gestured over to the bedside table before stopping and making a face, almost mirroring the disgusted way Dee's nose scrunched up at the prospect of eating the now cold and mushy pile of breakfast.

"Gross." Virgil laughed at Dee's declaration, agreeing completely.

"Should of thought that through I guess. I can make you another stack if you want? We can even make shapes!"

Dee glanced over at him, dubious expression completely out of place on his young face. "Not hungry. And you only do blobs."

"Maybe I've gotten better!" He countered indignantly, grinning at the raised eyebrow his statement earned him. "Alright well we'll try that later then. Let's get you changed into something more comfortable for right now, yeah?"

He lifted the child up and over to sit on the bed rather than his lap and walked over to the dresser where he knew Dee still had his favorite pajamas. He looked exhausted and Virgil had no doubt that as soon as he was comfortable he'd be nodding off.

Digging through various articles of clothing he hummed in triumph as he found what he was looking for. He laughed at the look on Dee's face as he presented the article of clothing, quickly helping him change.

A few minutes later he was tucking the yellow snake onesie clad four year old snugly into his blankets, biting his lip to keep from squealing as Dee's tongue blepped out happily. He made a mental note that if Patton was ever trusted enough to care for Janus when he was like this to make sure all of them were wearing ear plugs.

He was just turning to grab the thermos, intending to get Remus to help him fix it when Dee called out to him quietly.

"Vee?"

Virgil turned and smiled gently. "What is it, Dee?"

"Will you stay?"

His heart melted at the small vulnerable face, his vocal chords unable to form "no" even if he had wanted them to.

"Of course I will."

Much later, when Janus woke up from his impromptu nap definitely feeling better than he had in a while, he startled at the feeling of another's arm wrapped around him, twisting to see Virgil still fast asleep behind him. And if all he did was smile and lay back down, closing his eyes contentedly to soak in the feeling of being warm and safe, no one had to know.

He knew they would be talking later, but knowing Virgil of all sides still cared about him enough to care for him at his most vulnerable made him a lot less nervous about his future.


	2. Bottled Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Janus finally gets his best friend back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story was initially supposed to be just a one off idea, but before I moved it I got a comment asking if it could continue. At the times I had only five additional chapters planning, but it quickly evolved into something a bit more. As a result, have a sprinkle of angst and relationship development this chapter and going forward I hope whoever reads this continues to enjoy it!

It took Janus a few days to join the others at the breakfast table again, twisting his gloves behind his door in an uncharacteristically nervous way as he sucked in a breath. He didn't have anything on him to break this time, unless things somehow turned violent and his bones became a target. Shaking his head he threw his shoulders back and relaxed his face into a neutral expression. He and Patton were attempting to fix things, his relationship with Virgil was...smoothing, Logan had never really had a problem with him and Remus was well, Remus. Zo that just left Roman who needed to be tread especially carefully around. The odds were certainly in his favor should another altercation occur around one of the others. 

But...he had cried. He had lost his cool over a seemingly insignificant item and had been so close to being small in front of one of the worst people to be small with, princely image smeared in his head with anger and petty malice reserved solely for him. He knew he had messed up, insulting Roman the way he did but his name was so much more to him than just something to call if you needed something. A name held so much weight with each and every individual who learned it and used it. A name held the entire history of the individual with it, and to have it said with such flippant mocking in a moment of such desperate trust that would change things for everyone- the implications of the act were clear. Roman hated him. 

With good reason, he mused as he took another breath and opened the door, he had used him as a means to an end in his desperation to get Thomas to listen to his own self preservation. Roman had no reason to forgive him for what he had done and he didn't expect him to. He did, however, expect a bit more tact from the royal. Ignoring him and throwing insults was one thing. Blantantly destroying his things without a care was another. 

Roman was sitting at the table already writing something or other in an old sketchbook, Patton frying up bacon with an endearing level of concentration at the stove. He grabbed a regular glass from the cabinet and filled it water, stomach flipping at the thought of anything else. Patton offered him a bright smile but didn't say anything; Janus didn't miss the way his eyes flicked worriedly over to Roman. 

Thankfully the creative facet paid him no mind, Janus taking his seat a couple chairs away to avoid intruding and hoping he wasn't in anyone else's spot. Hearing shuffling from the doorway he turned and locked eyes with Virgil, who froze momentarily before giving him a tentative nod and walking into the kitchen. Thankfully the awkward air was somewhat saved as a plate of eggs and bacon and toast was pushed under his nose, muttering out a small "Thank you" before shoveling slightly overcooked scrambled eggs into his mouth. 

"Thanks Pat." Virgil plopped down heavily beside him, taking the empty space between him and Roman, and he had only a moment to be confused and grateful before a familiar thermos was set down in front of him. Turning to Virgil with bacon still halfway to his mouth he smiled as the other shrugged and looked away. "Rem and I were able to fix it so- yeah."

Hope fluttered in his chest even as Virgil refused to look at him. He knew it was a lot to hope for, to ask for- but he couldn't help but think maybe this could be their clean slate. Maybe Virgil really would want to talk things over with him, fix things, and they could go back to how they used to be. He shook his head minutely as he put his fork back down. No, not how things used to be. He realized now their relationship had always been a bit rocky. Maybe this time...they could make things better. 

He had just opened his mouth to thank him when Roman scoffed loudly, reaching forward. "I still don't understand why this is even such a big deal to you. Are these-" 

He was cut off as his hand was halted with a vice grip from the anxious side, who sat still and quiet not looking at anyone. "Lay off Princey."

Roman tugged at his arm. "I just-"

Virgil's head snapped up, eyeshadow black as pitch but with a glare that could kill a man if they weren't imaginary. "Don't."

It felt as if everyone and everything in the mindscape was holding their breath as Virgil's voice, distorted as it was, rang out with a finality not even Patton dared question. Janus saw the fatherly side tense and turn, ready to dispell the situation if need be, spatula held out in front of him but whether it was to use as an a weapon or a shield Janus couldn't guess. He felt words stick in his own throat as he cursed himself for not being quicker to come up with some witty remark, dish out a glare, hell even sink out in a fit of dramatics as he was want to do. Instead he sat frozen, wide eyed and slightly hunched behind Virgil. 

Anxiety protecting Self Preservation, now where was the irony?

Roman stilled and swallowed loudly, fear passing over his features before an angrier expression took over. Ripping his arm away he stood abruptly and scowled. "Great. You too? I thought you hated him!"

Before anyone could say anything he turned sharply and stalked off, his door slamming loud enough moments later to make all three of them jump. Virgil's arm was still in the same position, fingers tensed around an arm that had long gone before he flexed them with a wince and buried himself in his breakfast without another word. 

"Awe, look at the little tongues!" The gentle coo brought Janus' attention to Patton who had placed the rest of breakfast on two other plates and was now looking at the thermos with adoration. "I'm glad you were able to have it fixed, kiddo!"

"I- Patton I'm older than you?" The irony definitely wasn't lost this time as Patton shrugged and settled down gesturing to a plate without looking at him. 

"Logan, good morning! I made you a plate and there's some coffee left in the pot still!"

"Thank you, Patton." Logan glanced over briefly and nodded towards Virgil and Janus before pouring himself a mug and sitting down to eat, the silence a bit more comfortable with the still angry prince gone from the table. 

Breakfast was a quiet affair however, conversation stopping and starting at awkward intervals. Janus noticed Virgil eating a lot slower than he would normally but nobody commented on it. He watched as Logan then Patton got up, washed their dishes and left the kitchen to go and do whatever they did during the day, leaving him and Virgil alone. 

Taking a breath and shoving the last bit of bacon in his mouth Virgil stood up finally and swiped both their plates for the sink. Surprised Janus simply watched as he scrubbed them off and put them away, turning and nodding towards the thermos. 

"Still like apple juice?"

"I- yessss?" Janus grimaced as a nervous hiss left his mouth but if Virgil noticed he didn't comment, unscrewing the cap of the newly fixed cup and filling it with the juice. 

"Okay." Virgil slid the thermos over to him and sat down across from him with a sigh. "I'm the last side in the world who ever wants to say this, but we need to talk. We can do it here, or wherever but...yeah."

Janus nodded slowly and reached over to grip the thermos, happiness bubbling up briefly to see it fixed and functional and void of shards digging into his hands. "You'd be most comfortable in your room right?"

"This isn't about me so it doesn't matter." Janus snapped his head up and squinted at the anxious side. His eyeshadow was a shade darker than usual and his sleeves were twisted in his fingers almost painfully. Pursing his lips he nodded again. 

"Why don't we go to my room then. No one goes in it anyway and I just recently cleaned so it would be a neat environment. Tidy space equals a tidy mind and all that."

"Right." Virgil huffed out a laugh as he stood up. "Now a good time?"

"Of course." Janus had a feeling what this would be about but it didnt make it any easier. He didn't particularly like discussing his regression. There wasn't anything wrong with doing it or why he did it; it was just something that happened and though he would be loathe to the idea of the others knowing he was far from ashamed of it. It was just....he and Virgil hadn't spoken- really spoken- in such a long time. He knew this would be a serious conversation, especially since the closer they got to his room the darker his eyeshadow was getting, but the determined set to his face told Janus he wasn't getting out of this. He'd be proud of his former friend if he didn't feel so much like puking. 

Opening the door he gestured inside, Virgil immediately curling up in the comfortable desk chair while Janus sat stiffly on the edge of the bed. They didn't make eye contact for a minute, the tension in the room so tight he could barely breathe. And then Virgil took a steadying breath and the air became easier to suck in again, reminding Janus with a start just how much influence Virgil had to his surroundings. While he waited for the atmosphere to calm he took a swig of his juice, happiness bubbling up again as he realized how long it had been since he'd had it. 

"Janus."

"Yes, Virgil?" He looked up to see the anxious side slightly more relaxed, legs curled underneath him with his hands resting on his knees. He looked tired though, slumped over with barely hidden bags under his eyeshadow. He had a feeling now was not the time to bring it up however worried the image made him. 

"Have you- did you- damnit." Virgil ran a hand through his hair and took another breath. "You still regress. Which is fine! It's perfectly healthy and there's nothing wrong with it- but...has it been happening a lot? Without...without me there?"

He gripped his cup tighter and said nothing, watching with regret as Virgil's eyes widened. 

"Janus...you weren't alone when it would happen right? Remus, or at least-"

"No. I was fine on my own for the most part. I simply locked my door."

"Locked your-! Janus you can't, okay. Okay, I- Janus I'm so sorry. We need...fuck okay." Virgil was sitting up straighter now, gripping his cheeks and squeezing his eyes shut. He couldn't remember the last time he had seen the other so worked up other than when he had left after their final argument. Janus leaned forward and cleared his throat, holding out his hands which Virgil gratefully took in a steel grip. 

"I know the way we left things was...less than ideal," he started, looking at Vjrgil directly to try and drive home his point. "But I feel like we're at a point now where we can try to see where things went wrong and fix it. My habit has nothing to do with it."

His fingers were gripped tighter as Virgil laughed. "Your habit? Is that what we call it now? Janus- I need to apologize-"

"You don't."

"Shut up asshole and let me be sentimental." Janus grinned and nodded for him to continue. "The way I acted- it wasn't okay. Neither was the way you acted but that's beside the point. I'm very willing, now that the anger's cooled off, to start fresh. It's something we should have done way before this and I'm sorry for being so stubborn but...I guess it doesn't matter now. I just-"

Distangling their fingers, Virgil gripped his chin gently and tilted his head up, making him look directly into pleading eyes. "I didn't think about how my leaving would impact our trust that badly. You had no one to take care of you, and when you're small you should never have to be left to your own devices. You trusted me all those years ago to be responsible for you and I've been...I've been failing you for years. And that isn't okay."

Tears pricked his eyes and he internally cursed himself for not being able to handle this conversation. It had been years since they had been this close, years since Virgil had looked at him with anything but disdain and borderline hatred; to have him this close now, watching him with such an open expression-

Arms were around him before he even registered Virgil had moved and that was the last straw. Choking off a sob Janus gripped the back of the other's hoodie and buried his face shamefully in his friend's shoulder, years of emotions pouring out in front of the person he expected to care the least. He felt himself being shifted so Virgil could sit beside him, thighs pressing together as he was rocked gently back and forth. 

"Shhh, I know. I know, Janus and I'm so sorry. I promise we'll be okay. We're okay now, I'm not leaving again. Let it out it's okay, I still love you, it's going to be okay."

And if that last statement didn't just make him sob harder. His scales itched and his face was hot and he had probably ruined the patched jacket with all of his snot but Virgil loved him. It would be okay because he was holding him and rocking him and telling him everything would be fine. They were okay. Finally, after so long of wanting to talk but never knowing how, he had finally gotten his best friend back. 

Niether of them had the will to let the other go for a very long time, but Janus found himself content, as his tears finally slowed and the gentle back rub tapered off, to just sit and be held and loved.


	3. Carrots and Cuddles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil and Dee are compromised by carrots; it turns out better than either of them thought it could.

“Eat your carrots and then we can go play alright?”

Virgil leaned forward a bit and held out the fork, having taken it from Dee a few minutes ago when it became clear all he was going to do with it was push the horrible orange vegetables around his plate. Nobody in the mind scape liked vegetables except Janus- for whatever reason. Usually it was the only thing Virgil could get him to eat on the days he was feeling picky but now- Virgil sighed as Dee simply turned his head to the other side and pouted, little arms folded across his chest in a resolute pout.

“Come on buddy, everyone’s gone for now but we don’t know when they’ll be back. If you don’t eat these now you’re gonna be hungry later and I’m not letting you survive on cookies and juice boxes the entire afternoon.”

“Nuh.”

“Dee.”

“Nuh!”

Sighing again, Virgil lowered the fork. Not only was it apparently a picky day but it was also going to be a day where Dee was mostly nonverbal- which was perfectly fine besides the fact that Virgil now had no way of knowing what Dee might actually want at any given point in time, which when you have a time limit to leave the kitchen spotless by with a fussy toddler who suddenly decides to reject his tried and true favorite food it becomes the least ideal situation the living embodiment of anxiety could be in.

He regarded the carrots with distaste before holding up the fork again hopefully.

“Nuh.”

“Work with me a little Dee. No, you don’t want to play?”

“Nuh.”

No, you don’t want carrots? But these were always your favorite-” Virgil watched helplessly as the plate was firmly pushed away and arms crossed again. Did he just suck at this after not having taken care of him in so long? Were carrots not his favorite anymore? Did he just hate Virgil now because he’d taken so long to reach out again? He’d been the one to suggest that Janus take the day to be little to destress since everyone else would be with Thomas for a couple hours and they’d be free to do whatever until then, which Janus had agreed to and what they had been doing all morning until now- lunch- that Dee was stubbornly refusing. 

“Just eat one alright? Just one and then I’ll make you another sandwich for later in case you get hungry.”

“Nuh.”

“Eat the carrot.”

“Nuh.”

“Dee-” Virgil was interrupted suddenly by a whooshing sound. One that sounded distinctly like someone sinking back into the mindscape. Early. While him and Dee were still sat at the table. Panicking Virgil could only stay frozen as the side began to speak, footsteps getting louder as they came towards the kitchen.

“...thought I left it in here but- oh! I didn’t realize you’d be-” Patton stopped in the doorway, a look of shock on his face as he took in the scene of Virgil sat stock still at the table with a forkful of carrot still held aloft and Dee stiff as a board as well in his own seat with his plate of uneaten carrots in front of him, both of them hardly daring to breathe as the air tensed.

“H-heya Pat! How’s it uh...how’s it going out there?”

Patton blinked. “It- um, It’s going...it’s going. Who might this be?”

They both looked at Dee who, with the air still tense and suddenly being stared at, suddenly became very overwhelmed, lower lip trembling as his eyes flicked from Virgil to Patton and back.

“Dee, you’re okay, it’s fine!” Virgil rushed out, dropping the fork in his urgency to reach for the smaller side.

“Dee?” Patton questioned and that seemed to do it. Tears spilled onto Dee’s cheeks as he began to cry, the panic of being caught finally settling in his mind as he realized Patton was not, in fact, ever meant to see him while he was small. Panicking even more, Virgil fought to keep his voice level as he quickly scooped the now bawling side into his arms and began to try and gently shush him, echoing voice betraying him as it only served to scare Dee further into his head and make him cry harder. Close to tears himself he looked desperately at Patton who seemed to finally snap out of it and sank out quickly, leaving Virgil to stare incredulously at the spot he had vacated. Was he going to tell the others? He knew he couldn't, right? Of course he didn’t he didn’t even know what was going on how would he not-

“Okay, had to step out and tell them I had a headache coming on and was going to make some tea and lie down. That’ll keep them out there and not looking for any of us! Now-” Virgil watched as Patton came a little closer, fully in Dee’s sights as he continued to cry. “I’m sorry I scared you so badly there kiddo, I just wasn’t expecting to see you is all. I can leave if you want me to but I’d like to stay and help if you’ll let me?”

Patton’s soft tones seemed to calm the toddler down significantly as he leaned more into Virgil but thankfully stopped crying, only jerking a little with lingering hiccups while he eyed the fatherlyside cautiously. Patton seemed to take it as a win however as he looked over to the carrots left abandoned on the table, wrinkling his nose in distaste. “The heck are you being fed kiddo?”

“They’re usually his favorite,” Virgil was quick to defend them both, twisting his mouth to one side as he looked at the now far too cold for comfort cooked carrots congealing at the plate. “At least they were…”

Patton didn’t comment, instead scooping up the plate and turning to Dee. “Well they can’t be any good cold. Why don’t I heat these up and maybe add something special, make them taste different hm?”

Virgil watched as Dee peaked through his slightly longer bangs at the other side, who only grinned happily and waited. Hesitantly he reached his small fist up and wiped at his eyes, nodding but still making sure to lean back into Virgil. Nodding, Patton turned and made his way to the stove, dumping the carrots into a pan and flicking the burner on. Smiling crookedly Virgil leaned down to nuzzle the top of Dee’s head softly, earning a giggle in return as he squirmed in his arms. Virgili set him back down in his chair gently and pushed his juicebox over to him while watching Patton out of the corner of his eye, who was currently tying his absolute best not to stare at them while he cooked. The carrots sizzled lightly as he added salt and what looked like brown sugar, caramelizing with the pat of butter he had also added. Virgil had to admit it smelled delicious and even Dee was leaning forward in anticipation.

“And here we go! Carrots for people who don’t like carrots!” He set the plate down gently in front of the small side, putting a clean fork next to the plate and carefully taking a seat next to Virgil. They both watched as Dee poked lightly at the carrots, Virgil ready to sigh in defeat, when he actually put a couple in his mouth, eyes lighting up and all but shoving the entire plate in his face.

“Slow down kiddo, they’’ll still be there if you use a fork!” Patton laughed lightly and turned to Virgil, who simply shook his head and mouthed “I’ll tell you later.”

“Fair enough.” Patton mouthed back. “Coffee?”

“God yes.” Accidentally breathing the yes out loud Virgil huffed out a laugh and offered Patton a smile before turning back to Dee. This...definitely wasn’t how he thought the morning would go but- he’d take it.

\-----

“Age regression huh? I guess that makes sense.”

“It’s normal Pat.” Virgil’s reply came out sharper than he intended, making the moral side flinch a bit before shaking his head. “Sorry I- defensive. Protective. Whatever, I didn’t mean it like that.”

“It’s cute.” Patton’s eyes softened as he watched Virgil run his fingers through Dee’s hair, the latter fast asleep in anxiety’s lap. “You’re good with him; it’s clear he trusts and loves you a lot.”

Hiding his eyes behind his bangs so Patton wouldn’t see just how much that meant to him he nearly choked trying to answer. “Y- yeah?”

“Yeah.” Patton sat back against the couch and smiled. “I won’t tell anyone, I promise. Poor baby looked scared enough seeing me walk in, I could only imagine if it had been-”

Virgil lifted his head as Patton’s sentence caught, both of them knowing what was hanging in the air but not wanting to voice it. It was a thought better shelved for another day- one that didn’t have a four year old asleep in Virgil’s lap as he tried not to cry in relief that Patton was simply taking this in stride. Virgil could still take care of Janus when he needed it and maybe this would help his and Patton’s relationship like how it helped him and Virgil. Good. Those two needed to sit down and talk at some point and if this was the push they needed well...it was better than nothing Virgil supposed.

“Do you think he’ll be mad? That I saw him like this?” Virgil looked over at Patton twisting his fingers together painfully. “I can guess it was supposed to be secret- I really didn’t mean to walk in!”

Reaching over with his free hand Virgil batted his fingers apart to take a hand in his own. “I know, Pop-star. He’ll understand; he doesn’t hate you.”

“He doesn’t?”

Virgil looked up to see Patton’s wide eyes watering a bit as he pressed his lips together anxiously. He looked almost the exact same way Dee had when he had asked Virgil if he hated him, the memory stabbing through his chest as he squeezed Patton’s hand tightly. 

“He loves you Patton, so much. He loves all of us he just-” has dumb ways of showing it. Virgil smoothed Dee’s hair down gently while rubbing Patton’s knuckles with his other hand. “He loves all of us Patton, you included. He just gets so wrapped up in playing the villain he forgets how to make sure you actually know it.” 

Biting back the urge to hit himself over the head with his own hypocrisy he started a bit as Patton laid his head on his shoulder, intertwining their fingers as he relaxed. “It’s good to know that’s all it is.”

Pointedly ignoring the slight teasing tone, Virgil laid his cheek on top of Patton’s head and simply nodded. They’d have to move soon if they didn’t want to get caught but for now, being curled up on the couch as a small family felt incredibly nice. He supposed they could stay just a little longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Patton knows now yay! Next chapter is Dee, Patton and Logan 👀  
> Also just so you're all aware, this fic does pick up in angst somewhat at some point so be prepared for that. Nothing very extreme, just touch of abandonment issues and blame thrown around; a thunderstorm at some point down the line, being lost...I think that's it? And the usual tw for crying and panic attacks but it all gets resolved with a happy ending.  
> Just wanted to put a warning down and I'll be adjusting the tags in the morning so that the concepts are more clear now that I have a bit of plot figured out. Thanks for reading^-^


	4. Safe at Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patton can't sleep and Dee doesn't want to, so Logan offers a solution to fix at least one of their problems.

Pulling just so to settle his sweater sleeves in their usual knot against his collar bones, Patton shut his door quietly and continued down the hall. It was late, almost eleven at night, and Patton knew if anyone caught him awake at this hour they’d call him a hypocrite. He and Logan were constantly nagging the others to get to bed earlier- Patton admittedly less so just because he knew how easy it was to accidentally binge Parks and Rec into the wee hours of the morning. Shaking his head he decided it didn’t matter, as long as he was quiet no one would notice anyway.

He stopped outside Virgil’s room, the darkness beneath it not really telling him whether he was awake or not. Too often had he peeked in to check on him so find him sitting up with a blanket over his shoulders and his headphones on, scaring the daylights out of Patton the first few times seeing nothing but Virgil’s pale, spooked face streaked with leftover eyeshadow shining through the darkness. He hadn’t done it as much lately because of- well everything that was going on. He figured if he looked in and Virgil was asleep he wouldn’t want to ruin what little rest he got with how tense things had been.

With that depressing thought he turned to see Roman’s door a little ways down the hall. He hadn’t been coming out much lately, seeming to prefer the company of whatever magical entities he came up with in his world rather than what he could find in the common room. And that was...fine. It was completely fine, of course it was! They all needed a bit of a break every now and again and he couldn’t expect every member of his family to want to be around him all the time.

Except that it had been a few weeks since he had had his meltdown; a few weeks since he had gone back on everything he had ever known to be right and accepted De- Janus- into their lives completely and agreed to work with him rather than actively against him. And he knew- he knew how Roman must have taken it. How many times had he been confused about something but forged ahead anyway because everyone had seemed to need him to have the answers? He was the dad, of course he had answers! But then- those answers had changed as they had grown and earned experience and knowledge but was too stubborn to change along with it, so too then Roman had been. Roamn had had his world view flipped just as much as Patton had but Roman had trusted Patton’s insistence that he knew all the answers- and even when he began to admit he didn’t he remained resolute that there were things you just knew- and still Roman trusted that. Now that was wrong, so was Patton, and the one person Patton had always said did nothing but deceive he now knew was one to trust. But Roman was past trusting him, and after so many years Patton really couldn’t blame him.

He realized then how unsettling it would look for him to be simply standing in the middle of the hallway, motionless with a deep frown lining his face. Shaking off the melancholy he brought his hands to his face and rubbed up and down a bit more roughly than was necessary, standing his bangs on end but it fit the late hour so he supposed it didn’t matter. He glanced at Logan’s door but the more responsible side would most definitely be asleep by now so he didn’t even bother stopping, determined to make it to the kitchen to get a glass of water and maybe even cocoa before trying to turn in for the night. He could worry about his kiddos when he could string together more than two coherent thoughts that didn’t end with him feeling like he shouldn’t leave his bed for the next ten years at least.

He was going to walk past Janus’ room but paused and cocked his head to listen better. A faint tune could just barely be heard through the door though Patton couldn’t place what it could be. Was Janus playing music? Could he not sleep either? Maybe he’d be willing to join him in the kitchen for a late night snack if he wasn’t too tired; Patton could definitely use the company with the way his thoughts were straying tonight. Stepping closer so his feet were almost right up against the door jam he could see a very faint, warm light shining underneath, He leaned in and held his breath, straining to try and hear whatever it was that was playing. What he heard however only confused him further.

A child’s voice was singing a soft, wordless tune that didn’t seem to have any inspiration behind; just something simple seemingly to keep themselves occupied. Occasionally the tune would stop and they would mumble something he didn’t quite catch but then it would pick back up again just as quietly. Patton leaned away in confusion, sure that he recognized the voice but why-

Dee! Putting the pieces together only made him more confused. If Janus was regressed then why was he alone? And why was he still awake? From what he remembered Dee was only four so it was definitely way past his bedtime and more importantly he didn’t hear Virgil in with him, which definitely meant he was alone considering Virgil was constantly talking to Dee when they were together- much more than when Janus was out of little space but Patton suspected that was just something the’d eventually have to work out. Puffing his cheeks out he debated whether or not he should intrude. Dee was little, up late and alone but Patton had also only found out Janus regressed at all a few days ago and he honestly wouldn’t blame the kiddo if he didn’t fully trust him or want him around just yet, if he ever would at all. Virgil needed his rest, Roman was already mad at both him and Janus, Remus….well anyway- and he was ninety nine percent certain Logan would not be a side Dee would want to know about this. 

The door cracked open before he could make up his mind, Dee’s fluffy curls making him smile even though he was internally panicking. Sure he was the more father oriented side but he didn’t know if he was actually good with kids last time he had just seen a crying child and wanted it to stop but this time he was the one almost in tears and he really didn’t want to cry in front of one of his kiddos when they were this small and- 

A tiny hand slipping into his brought him out of his thought spiral and he found himself stumbling forward as Dee tugged insistently, leaving the door cracked behind them as he was led to a ring of stuffed animals surrounding a small electric candle. The smaller side let go and patted the space beside him as an offer to Patton, which he took somewhat nervously.

“I can’t do all the voices.” So saying he was handed a floppy stuffed elephant, the poor thing bending in the middle from lack of stuffing but certainly not from lack of hugs it had surely received. Dee picked up a stuffed tiger that was lying prone beside him, no doubt the one he had been playing with before he opened the door. It’s fur was a bit ratty and it was just as floppy as all of them seemed to be- in fact most of these seemed to be copies of Thomas’ old stuffed animals he had had growing up, finding a new purpose in his mind with his smallest side. Patton smiled at the thought of all their past friends finding new adventures with someone who clearly loved them just as much, running his thumbs over the elephants soft ears lovingly as he watched Dee get the tiger into position and begin moving it around in a strange sort of rhythm that looked like an odd sort of dance, picking up his previous humming with the most adorable look of concentration Patton had ever seen. The child looked up at him expectantly, making Patton realize he was probably meant to hum along to whatever performance the tiger was putting on for the rest of them.

Smiling softly he brought the elephant up and began making it dance, clearing his throat before humming quietly along with Dee. He really should be in bed but Patton was loath to ruin this moment. It was so peaceful- the electric candle flickered like a real flame and the lamp in the corner illuminated everything just enough to give the room a soft golden glow to it. The carpet was soft underneath him and the humming, nonsensical as it was, was soothing and just loud enough to remind him what he was doing. He wasn’t exactly sure what game they were playing but he didn;t mind not knowing the rules, happy to let Dee set the pace as he swayed from side to side with a small smile on his face. He wished so badly someone else was here to take a picture so he could keep this image in his head for the rest of his life, he didn’t remember Janus ever looking this content even when they were actually kids, and to see it now was as gut wrenching as it was heart melting.

“I don’t know what you’re listening to but if you could at least shut your door it would much apprecia-” Both of their heads snapped up, Dee immediately leaning back to hide most of his small frame behind Patton while said side clutched the elephant to his chest in panic. Logan stood still in the doorway, confusion clear on his face as he stepped in the room and shut the door behind him. “I didn’t mean to- I'm sorry, I can leave. I wasn’t aware-”

Dee poked his head out from behind Patton and waved, making Logan stop again mid-sentence to hesitantly wave back. Patton watched, still a bit tense, as Logan crouched down on the balls of his feet and smiled softly at the smaller side. “May I ask how old you are, Janus?”

“Dee!”

“I apologize, I’ll remember that from now on. May I ask how old you are, Dee?”

Patton smiled as Dee nodded vigorously, tiger still held tight to his chest as he held out four fingers. “I’m four!”

“A very good age to be, there are many milestones to achieve at four years old.”

“Milestones?”

“An action or event marking a significant change or stage in development.” Logan explained. “Most of those happen with a good night’s rest though. Why are you still awake?”

Dee looked down at the stuffed animals in front of his, rocking a little in place. “I wanted to play.”

“Activities like this are usually reserved for when it's daylight. Was there a reason you can’t play then?”

“Everyone else is awake.”

Patton set the elephant down gently. “You’re afraid someone will see you small if you play in the daytime huh?”

Logan pressed his lips together as Dee nodded, seeming to not want to elaborate. “Alright, that’s understandable. So Patton usually looks after you then?”

“No I just-”

“Vee! But he’s asleep.” 

“Well, in the morning it might be a good idea then to talk to Virgil about how to better accommodate you during the day so that you can still play but not have to worry about anyone else walking in on. We might be able to square away a room for you or modify this one so that no one could enter without your permission, provided the door remains shut. How does that sound?”

“You could do that?” Dee’s eyes were enormous as he looked at Logan like he had just confirmed the moon was made of his favorite cheese. 

Chuckling softly, the logical side adjusted his glasses. “Theoretically. But we need you well rested if we’re going to figure it out tomorrow.”

Patton smiled as Dee seemed to weigh his options, pouting slightly as he stood and made his way towards the bed. Turning off the candle and moving to set it on the night stand he reached for the blankets but stopped himself before he could do anything. “Do you want tucked in kiddo?”

Nodding shyly Dee laid back and clutched the tiger even tighter while wiggling into a comfortable position. Patton waited until he was done before grabbing up the thick comforter and carefully laying it over him, being sure to tuck it away from his face and loose enough that he could free his arms if he wanted. Smiling he squeezed Dee’s shoulder gently as his eyes drooped tiredly, moving towards the door that Logan was already easing open quietly.

“Goodnight, Dee.”

“Goodnight, Dee. Sleep well.”

“Goodnight. Love you.”

They both paused and looked back but the small side was already asleep, curled around his stuffed animal comfortably. Slipping out of the room Patton smiled at Logan’s small smile, which immediately turned questioning as Patton beamed back at him.

“What?”

“You like kids.”

Taken aback, Logan shook his head. “I just know some basic developmental needs and how to apply them. Liking has nothing to do with it.”

At Patton’s shit-eating grin, Logan rolled his eyes. “They’re pleasant enough to be around when they’re well-behaved.”

“So you-”

“Go to bed Patton.” Logan shook his head as he began to walk back to his room.

“I was gonna make cocoa before I saw Dee was awake. If you were having trouble sleeping I could make enough for both of us-” He let the offer hang as Logan stilled. He knew the other man secretly loved hot cocoa late at night for as much as he preached about proper sleeping schedules.

He smiled wider as Logan walked briskly past him down the stairs. “Just this once, to help us sleep.”

“Sure, Logan.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some Patton angst this time around because of course. Janus gets a hug in the next chapter because boy does he need it.  
> As far as this story goes, this is something I wrote as a one shot and didn't think people would be interested in but now I have seventeen chapters planned so thank you for the interest! Note that Roman and Janus will be on better terms at some point and also Remus also comes in later, and knowing that info if anyone has something they want to see happen (side hangouts, specific regression prompts anything like that), as long as it can be story relevant and it isn't plot heavy I'll happily add it! I'll accept ideas up to Feb. 20 and you can comment them here, or go to 5-falsehoods-phonated on tumblr and ask, anon is always on! Thanks for reading ^-^


	5. Deserving of Comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Janus has been avoiding the others for a couple of days. When he finally emerges for a simple lunch and gets caught by Patton the results are better than he was expecting.

For Janus, a simple cheese sandwich with yellow mustard would always be the superior lunch. It was easy and quick to make, it was all yellow- which definitely wasn’t a bias on his part- and it was a thing that made very little noise when putting it together or eating it. It was definitely something he liked more when the need to be stealthy arose but he still wanted to eat. Not to say he wanted to avoid anyone, he just would rather not see and/or speak to a certain side at the moment so that certain topics could remain unspoken about for the time being. Certainly the opposite of avoidance if one was desperate to put a label to it.

Still, the reptilian side couldn’t help but sneak glances over his shoulder now and then as he spread the mustard quickly but carefully over the bread and reached in the thin plastic bag for the cheese. Two slices slapped in the middle in the bread would do; then close it, close the bag, put everything back in the fridge and he was home- or rather room free. Just as he was opening the fridge he heard the whooshing of someone sinking in nearby, causing him to panic and slam the door shut accidentally. Cursing he turned just as Patton walked into the room, making him groan internally as one of the last sides he wished to see at the moment blinked at him in surprise before grinning wide and giving a small wave.

“Hey kiddo, I was wondering when I’d see you! It’s been a couple of days, I was starting to worry.”

Pressing his lips together, Janus took the time to properly close the drawer before he thought better of it and turned back around. “Sandwich Patton?”

“Oh sure! Thank you.” Patton settled down at the table with his hands tucked underneath his thighs looking like he wanted to talk but not really knowing how to start. Ignoring this Janus took the ingredients out again with the addition of ham since he knew the other liked it, bringing down another plate as the silence stretched between them.

“I’m not a kiddo Patton, I’m older than you.” As harsh as he meant it to sound there was no bite in his words as he finished the second sandwich, putting all the ingredients back into the fridge.

Patton chuckled. “I know. Just habit I guess. I didn’t mean anything by it.”

From his expression Janus could tell he actually hadn’t but he was still weary. There was a reason he kept his stress relief to himself- even Virgil was never meant to know about it. Yet here he was, two other people knowing without him saying anything and so far he really had no clue where he stood with either of them about it- and he certainly wasn’t about to suggest they all sit down to talk about it, hypocrite as it was. He could push Thomas to talk until he was hoarse, make sure the other sides knew the importance of communication until he was blue in the face, but when it came to himself and especially when it came to something like this he was the last one to want to open up about anything. It was the simple fact that the outcome of someone knowing was unknown and saying his name had been bad enough. Certain things were with keeping close to one’s chest- and something that made him- the embodiment of self preservation itself- feel vulnerable and small both literally and metaphorically was definitely something worth keeping to himself

Taking a deep breath he decided to cut the awkward air preemptively and bring it up himself, since he was sure that was why Patton was trying and failing to remain still as he ate his lunch. 

“I wanted to thank you for not...for not saying anything to anyone else. Logan knowing was unexpected but I appreciate you- both of you- keeping my private affairs...private.”

Patton scrunched his face. “You’re talking about it like it’s a bad thing.”

“I am fully aware that it isn’t and I’m not saying that how either of you reacted to it would have influenced me in any way. I was just-” Janus swallowed his last bite thoughtfully as he considered how honest he wanted to be with the fatherly side. “...nervous, I suppose. For me, this kind of thing is akin to saying my true name and well, we both know how that turned out.”

Wincing, Patton nodded as he finished his own sandwich, getting up and taking Janus’ plate to the sink. “I know you told us your name as a last ditch effort for us to listen, and I know it was by complete accident that I saw you small at all, so for what it’s worth I’m sorry you’re being forced to put trust somewhere it isn’t really owed.”

Janus opened his mouth to disagree with Patton, to say that it was fine and that he had wanted to tell them his name, that it had been his choice. He wanted to say that Patton seeing him as a four year old crying because he didn’t want to eat carrots was okay actually, that he didn’t mind and it wasn't a big deal but for once he hesitated before lying. This wasn’t something to lie about- to brush aside as if it didn’t matter because it did. Two of his most closely guarded secrets were out because of circumstances he could only partly control and it hurt more than he would ever care to say. It wasn’t okay, it really truly wasn’t, and to have Patton acknowledge that was making him feel things he didn’t have the energy to process just yet. He knew he should have just asked Virgil to bring him something., but then he would’ve asked why and Janus would have had to tell him that Logan knew now and that he was up way past the time he should have been just to play with his dolls.

Shuddering at the thought his head snapped up as Patton turned around, offering a small hesitant smile as he leaned against the counter. “You have no reason to, but you can trust me. I might be loud and obnoxious at times, but I know my morals- at least more universal ones. Your secret will always be safe with me for as long as you want it to be.”

“Thank you Patton, truly.”

Janus hesitated. A hug would be nice but he didn’t want Patton giving him one out of pity or obligation; the other was notorious for putting others first at his own expense and for Thomas’ sake he didn’t want to enforce the behavior. Plus, even though he knew it was silly and untrue, he couldn’t let go of the notion that adults didn’t need hugs. Everybody needed physical reassurance at some point but it was just- weird to ask for it he supposed.

“I don’t- as much as I would love one I don’t think that’s necessary Patton thank you.”

“My offer still stands.” Patton squinted at him. “Big or little, everybody deserves hugs.”

“A little what?”

Both of them stiffened and turned to see Roman in the doorway looking between the two of them with suspicion. Janus' heart hammered in his chest even as he calmly folded his hands in front of him. How long had he been standing there? How much had he heard? Could he get away with a lie or would Patton open his mouth? Full offense to him but Janus figured he would forgive him for not fully trusting him to actually keep his mouth shut while under stress. Deciding to speak first in case the other did crack under pressure he lifted his chin and smirked.

“My tone had come across wrong and he simply told me to lighten up a little.” Raising his eyebrows at the Prince he decided to jab just a little- he had nearly given him a heart attack after all. “Very astute advice for all of us.”

Roman scowled at him and moved towards the fridge as Janus shot Patton a pointed look that made the other quickly snap his mouth shut, thankfully foregoing whatever it was that he felt he needed to add. Now was not the time and Janus was not in the mood for a half-hearted scolding to be nicer; he doubted Roman would appreciate it either. The kitchen was quiet as Roman grabbed out a plate of leftover pizza and let the fridge slam shut after him as he sunk out, making Janus roll his eyes at his antics. He had honestly thought Virgil was the most dramatic when it came to pouting over fights that had long since ended, and even if it was both parties that were in the wrong it didn’t make the others temper tantrums any less infuriating.

“You shouldn’t antagonize him.” Paton’s voice was a bit small, his shoulders drooped in a way that almost made Janus feel guilty before he brushed it aside. Everything would sort itself out eventually it would just take time. Even so-

“I know, but by god if he doesn’t make it hard not to.”

Snorting, Patton only shook his head. “I’m serious though. If you need comfort, regressed or not, you can come to me or Logan and I’m sure you know Virgil would be there for you if you needed it.”

Janus looked away quickly at that, biting his lip before he could say anything. In lieu of answering he simply opened his arms and hoped it would get him out of whatever conversation Patton was hinting at having. Huffing out a breath as he was embraced and squeezed he wrapped his arms around the other and sank gratefully into the warmth. Sitting in the embrace he allowed himself to think that maybe things wouldn’t be as bad as he thought they would be- barring Roman- the “light” side of the mindscape was a pleasant place to be. He could see why Virgil had moved over.

Squeezing his eyes shut, Janus gripped Patton’s shoulders a little bit tighter. “Thank you.”

“No problem kiddo.”


End file.
